Must we forgive the unrepent..

All right, well tonight, this is part three in our questions series, and so I'm seeking to take about 15 minutes to tackle some different questions. And by the way, if you have questions that you would like to be addressed, I welcome suggestions, so please share them with me. Now, tonight's question is, must we forgive the unrepentant? All right, must we forgive somebody who's not sorry? Now, I'm gonna assume that we all recognize that we must forgive repentant people. As Luke chapter 17 verses three and four says, if your brother sins, rebuke him. And if he repents, forgive him. And if he sins against you seven times in the day and turns to you seven times saying, I repent, you must forgive him. So no matter who sins against us, how many times they've sinned against us, or how greatly they've harmed us, we must forgive the repentant sinner. And in fact, if we don't, Jesus says explicitly that God won't forgive us either in Matthew 6, verses 14 and 15. So that is a non-negotiable foundation of Christian ethics. However, a much trickier and more controversial question is whether or not we're obligated to forgive even when it hasn't been asked for and the person isn't repentant. And so, I just want to give you an example to, in a roundabout way, kind of get at this. Following the Columbine shooting, when two students massacred 13 people with disturbing premeditation and even glee, and then they committed suicide without showing the slightest remorse. Well, after that, there was a picture of a group of students holding up a sign with a message about the two students who'd committed this atrocity, and the sign said, we forgive you. And I wonder, what do you think of that? Does that strike you as a beautiful picture of Christian forgiveness? Perhaps even the way every Christian ought to respond to such things. Or does that strike you as a hollowed out version of forgiveness? Perhaps just another example of the therapeutic sort of pop culture kind that's all about freeing yourself, but divorced from any meaningful reconciliation. Do you imagine that picture and immediately think of Jesus on the cross saying, Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do, or Do you think of that picture and immediately think of its dissonance with, say, the cry of the martyrs in Revelation 6, verse 10, where they say, how long, O sovereign Lord, holy and true, until you avenge our blood? Do you think that the pinnacle of Christian forgiveness is when it's extended to the most wicked perpetrators, even when they aren't sorry, or Does it strike you as confusing that we would pronounce our forgiveness on those who are definitely in hell? Because at the very moment those classmates were holding up that sign saying, we forgive you, I think angels in heaven were bowing down and worshiping God because he did not. And because in his righteousness and justice, he does not allow atrocities like that to go unpunished. Well, whatever the case, my guess is that in this room, which is full of people who love the gospel, trust the Bible, and are generally very like-minded theologically, we would probably be pretty divided on this issue. Because as best I can tell, this is a question that really cuts across the grain of other theological camps. And there are weighty scriptural considerations on either side. I think it's also an issue in which semantics play a very significant role. Because it's quite common that you can have a conditional forgiveness person on one side and an unconditional forgiveness person on the other. Once everybody's carefully defined their terms, you realize that they're actually saying almost exactly the same thing. Because what the conditional forgiveness person means by being ready to forgive, well, that's almost exactly what the unconditional person means by forgive. What the conditional person means by forgive is almost exactly what the unconditional person means by reconcile. And so, in some cases, we can use different words, but basically mean the same thing. And in that case, I think our goal should really be just to understand, well, how does Scripture use these words and how do we make sure that our vocabulary is in line with the Bible? But on the other hand, it's not all semantic. And I hope that the column by an example helped to illustrate that, because the way that we talk about forgiveness can definitely affect the way that we practice it. And so I think this is an issue that deserves our careful attention. Now, what I'm going to do today is I'm going to lay out the main argument for conditional forgiveness, and then I'm going to explain why I don't find that argument compelling. And then next time, so this will actually be a two-part series on this question, I will lay out a more positive argument for what I think is the best way to think and talk about forgiveness. Okay, so what then is the main argument for conditional forgiveness? Well, it's been laid out by Kevin DeYoung and Tim Challies and others who both refer to a book called Unpacking Forgiveness by Chris Braun. And these are men that I have the utmost respect for. I'm going to disagree with them in this particular issue, but I do appreciate their work. And at the heart of their argument, there's really three simple points. So, this is the argument for conditional forgiveness. Number one, we're commanded to forgive others as God has forgiven us. That seems clear from Ephesians 4.32 and Colossians 3.13. Number two, God extends forgiveness conditioned on repentance, right? So, of course, we don't receive forgiveness from God just no matter what, but we have to repent. And then he forgives us in Christ. But God's forgiveness is conditioned on repentance. And then point three in the argument would be, therefore, we should forgive others when they repent. because that's what God does, and if we're supposed to forgive as God forgives, then we should forgive on the condition of repentance. And in fact, if we had to forgive others who weren't sorry and weren't repentant, then God would be holding us to a higher standard than himself. So, that's the argument. And personally, I think there's some weight to that argument. I can—it's a clear argument. I can understand why godly people would affirm it. But ultimately, I find it unconvincing for five main reasons. So, I'm going to try to briefly go through that tonight. Yes. So, second point was God extends forgiveness conditioned on repentance. Sure. Okay, so number one reason why I don't find this argument ultimately convincing is forgive as God forgives doesn't necessarily mean forgive on the condition of repentance just like God does. I think we'd all agree that forgive as God forgives means to forgive freely, fully, and sacrificially, just like Christ forgave us, but it doesn't necessarily mean that our forgiveness should be like God's in every conceivable way. Any more than when God says, be holy as I am holy means that we should be holy like God in every conceivable way. To press this point further, if modeling our forgiveness after God's means that we should only forgive on the condition of repentance, then what about faith? Because God only forgives us when we not only repent, but believe in him. And of course, no one would argue that we should only forgive when someone repents and believes in us. So clearly, our forgiveness shouldn't be modeled after God's in every way. And I think the burden of proof is on those who say that we should model our lives after God's in the sense of conditioning on repentance to show that that's actually what Paul meant when he said, forgive as God forgives. And I don't think that I'm persuaded they've done that. All right, argument number two. God is free to withhold forgiveness in a way that we are not. Now, the conditional repentance argument very much emphasizes God's forgiveness as our model, right? They're saying we should forgive like God does. So it stresses the similarity between us and God in extending forgiveness. However, I think it fails to properly emphasize an important difference between us and God, which is that we forgive as forgiven people. but God does not forgive as a forgiven God. Our forgiveness of others ought to be motivated by God's forgiveness of us, but God's forgiveness of others is motivated purely by his free grace. And so, what this means is that God is free to withhold forgiveness in a way that we're not. So, we shouldn't assume that the conditions on which God withholds forgiveness should necessarily be the same as the conditions on which we do. So, think for a moment with me about the parable in Matthew 18, where there's this man who owes an astronomical debt to the king. Now, what would you think if the man had come before the king and he's pleading? Well, what if the king hadn't forgiven him? I mean, would any of us, you know, be outraged that the king had committed some injustice? Well, of course not. I mean, the king is free not to forgive this man. This man owes this astronomical debt. He should have to pay it. But then, after the man receives forgiveness, then his own servant comes to him, owing a significant but comparatively minuscule amount, we don't assume that the man was free to extend or withhold forgiveness like the king was. No, since he's received forgiveness, he's obligated to give it. And that's why we feel rightly outraged when he doesn't. And in fact, to take this one step further, would the story change if the forgiven man's servant had come to him and instead of pleading with him and being repentant, he'd maintain, well, there's a misunderstanding, and in fact, I don't owe you any such debt. Well, would that then seem to justify this man who'd just been forgiven so much, like, throwing him in prison because the servant wasn't repentant? I think our moral intuition says no. The fact that the servant begged for mercy may have made the man's unforgiveness all the more egregious, but it was never the real reason why the man should have forgiven him. The fundamental reason that the man should have extended forgiveness is because he had received such unimaginable forgiveness himself. And so my point here is that it seems misguided to assume that if we're commanded to extend forgiveness like God does, that we should assume that we're also warranted to withhold it for the same reasons as well. Rather, we're obligated to extend forgiveness, not fundamentally because the offender's repentant, but because God has forgiven us. And so this isn't being held to a higher standard than God. This is us being held to an appropriate standard, given that unlike God, we're a forgiven people. Okay, point number three. We're free to extend forgiveness in a way that God isn't. So this is kind of the reverse of the previous point. God is free to withhold it. We're free to extend it. And the reason I say that is because God, unlike us, is the one responsible for enforcing universal justice. I mean, that's why Christ had to die. That's why God will not and cannot forgive anyone apart from Christ's death on the cross. He must ensure that justice is satisfied. And in fact, the only way for justice to be satisfied is for Christ to die. And for his death to count for someone, there has to be a real, organic connection between that person and Christ where they are united, and the way God has designed that to work is through repentance and faith. And so I think in that sense, that's why God's forgiveness is conditioned on repentance, because he is upholding universal justice. We, however, do not jeopardize the final justice of the universe by forgiving someone. In fact, what we are doing is simply releasing them from accountability to us and entrusting justice to the hand of God. knowing that vengeance is his and that he will repay, and their sin will either be paid for by Christ on the cross, or it will be paid for by them in the final judgment. And therefore, I think this is another reason why God's forgiveness would be conditioned on repentance in a way that ours is not. Okay, fourth point. Fourth reason I'm not persuaded by that argument is because, in a sense, God's forgiveness is unconditional. while it's true that God's forgiveness is conditioned on faith and repentance, we should also ask, well, where do faith and repentance ultimately come from? And do they come from us? Does God just sort of sit back and wait for someone to repent so that he can forgive them? Well, I think based on a Reformed understanding of the gospel, we would say no. In fact, God unconditionally elected us before the foundation of the world, sent Christ to die specifically for us, and sent his spirit to give us the faith and the repentance we needed in order to receive his forgiveness. And so really, in a more ultimate sense, it seems that our forgiveness is based on the unconditional grace of God. Now, this is obviously another one of those ways in which we simply cannot forgive others exactly like God does. Because our will to forgive doesn't have the power to change other people's hearts and make them willing to receive our forgiveness. But my point is that even if we should strive to model our forgiveness of others to be as exactly like God's forgiveness of us as it could possibly be, Well, how then should we forgive? I mean, are we being more like God when we condition our forgiveness on repentance? Or are we actually being more like God when we forgive unconditionally? Since that's the more ultimate sense in which God forgives us, and we simply can't forgive exactly like God does. Fifth and final point, we don't actually repent of all our sins but God forgives them all." We don't actually repent of all our sins, but God forgives them all. You know, friends, the beauty of the gospel is that in Christ, we are fully forgiven. And even though I have a huge number of sins that I've never directly repented of, that I'm not even aware of, God still forgives me freely and fully in Christ. You know, in spite of the deficiencies and the incompleteness of my repentance, God forgives me. And although I don't think that conditional repentance advocates would mean for their teaching to be applied this way, I am concerned that it could be used as a basis for us to refuse to forgive the sins of others that they don't even see, or to refuse to forgive them when we judge that their repentance is inadequate. And I think that doing that would actually go completely against the command to forgive as God in Christ has forgiven you, because God forgives us fully in Christ, and that's how we should forgive one another. And so, friends, for all of these reasons, I don't find the main argument for conditional forgiveness convincing. Now, next time, I'm going to try to build a more positive case for, well, what then should we do and how should we define terms like forgiveness and reconciliation? But for tonight, I'd like to close with Jesus's words in Mark 11, verse 25. Jesus says, and whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive. that your father who is in heaven may also forgive you. So, amen. Let's pray. Our God, even as we stand praying now, God, we do forgive those who have wronged us, knowing that you will bring about justice and also knowing that you have forgiven us. God, we thank you for the forgiveness you give us in Christ, and we pray that you would help us to be a rightly forgiving people. God, we thank you so much for your word and this time you've given us tonight. In Jesus' name, amen.